The Cure For Perfectionism

Perfectionism is something that MOST women physicians struggle with.  And since you’re a professional, you believe that you have to have it together–at all times.  You’re not allowed to have an off day. 

The truth is…no one expects you to be perfect.  

Not your loved ones.
Not your colleagues.
Not even your patients.  

But your brain has convinced you that they do, right?  

When you believe that you need to be PERFECT to make everyone around you happy, how does that make you feel?

My guess is:

Overwhelmed.

Not good enough.

Like you’re always failing to meet some impossible standard.

Although it might not feel like it, that voice in your head that’s cracking the whip is actually coming from a loving place.  Perfectionism is actually a safety mechanism your brain uses to keep you safe.

If you were praised for your accomplishments and deeply criticized for messing up when you were growing up, you learned to place your value in how well you performed (on a test, in sports, in the recital, etc).  Your brain naturally linked perfection with safety and created a program (like a computer) that your safety is rooted in being (or appearing) perfect.

What you need to know is your brain is just trying to protect you from is the icky, unpleasant feelings that come from NOT being seen as perfect: 

Vulnerable.

Judged.

Unworthy.

But “so what?“  What if others see the real, imperfect you?  What if you do feel exposed, vulnerable, judged, or unworthy?  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  

The way to short-circuit this program and eliminate perfectionism at the root is to identify everything you’re trying to avoid by being perfect.  It’s picturing that worst case scenario…then allowing yourself to FEEL it.  Because once you actually feel the feelings you’re afraid to feel, they will no longer hold power over you.  Then you will naturally let go of this impossible quest to be perfect.

Remember that feelings are the domain of the feminine.  So there’s no feeling or emotion that you won’t be able to handle.  And the truth is the more you allow yourself to experience the full range of your feelings (including the “bad” ones), the easier it will be to navigate them.

So the cure to perfectionism is helping your well-meaning brain to understand it is actually safe to be who you are–imperfections and all.

This is something I help women physicians with in my 90-day Beyond Burnout™ coaching program. You’ll experience deep internal shifts through a powerful combination of mindset and embodiment coaching.  You’ll also learn self-coaching tools for lifelong personal mastery. If you’d like to learn more, book your free 60-minute consultation today.